Dear Dr. Laura:

  Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
  Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
  knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
  the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
  Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
  debate.

  I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
  elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

  1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male
  and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
  friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
  Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

  2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
  in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
  fair price for her?

  3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
  in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem
  is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

  4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
  creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
  neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
  smite them?

  5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
  obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

  6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is
  an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
  homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
  'degrees' of abomination?

  7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
  I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
  glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
  wiggle-room here?

  8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
  hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
  Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

  9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
  makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

  10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
  different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
  garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
  blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
  necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
  together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
  death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
  with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

  I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
  considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

  Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
  unchanging.

  Your adoring fan.

  James M. Kauffman,
  Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
  Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
  University of Virginia

  PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)